two-way one-way conversations

Our parish is having a Church mission, and last night there was a 'just for teens' talk, which I attended. The speaker was engaging, hilarious, creative, and broke the ice almost instantly. Many present, I feel, could have handled more substance than was offered, but never mind. One question he gave us was "do you have conversations with yourself, you know, two-way-one-way conversations?" YES. And I think I'll record one of them, taking place the same night. We had been divided up into small groups, and were asked to thoughtfully discuss and answer "why modern teens don't get into the God-Faith-Church thing". One guy said "drugs. alcohol." From the rest of the guys came grunts of assent and from the girls chirps of "totally agree!" with valley-girl gestures and batting eyelashes.

Emotional, in the moment me thinks: GROW UP! Girls, that appendage you just flipped and cocked coquettishly was intended for a much higher purpose! USE IT TO CONTEMPLATE THE QUESTION!

Retrospective, Objective me thinks: Relax. You snot! They are self-conscious and tense, a state of mind that doesn't lend itself to deep thought, especially to people not often exposed to perspicacity.

I say: don't you think there's more to it than that? Drugs and alcohol are just temptations, that people like us don't often encounter until they are teens. I think it's the religious examples parents set that make a bigger difference.

"Whl*, I think that like, the parents themselves can't like, make a big difference. Cuz seriously, no one like, listens ta their parents anymore. They think it's like, not cool." came in gutteral tones from a slouching girl picking at her nails. More grunts. Copious, simultaneous, "yeah. OH MY GOSH, my friend, like..."'s from the girls.

E M: Congratulations! you actually succeeded in making a point! Too bad it was unintentionally. Now just imagine you have a spine, and I'd like you.

R O M: Just imagine how she feels at the moment - just the way she looks, uncomfortable, awkward. Besides, at least she's not behaving like the others. Be charitable.

E M: But it's thoroughly bogus! Just look at them! A gaggle of gossipy girls and a lump of inertial guys, unwilling to have or form their own opinions. No wonder teens don't get into the "God-Faith-Church" thing, if they're too lazy even to find out why they don't when they don't!

ROM: You yourself are scarcely being logical. That rant my have let off steam, but you've begun mixing your terms. Besides, it's time to take your seat and listen to the other groups.

EM: Hee hee! I rather suspect I'll be laughing up my sleeve at some attempts, judging from my own group!

ROM: Just mind it stays entirely up your sleeve.

It didn't, I'm ashamed to say.


*Well. The ludicrous spelling is an attempt to illustrate the dialect adopted by this character, as are the 'likes' which came only too infrequently in my rendition.